


Seven Days of Ugly Christmas Apparel

by ChrisCalledMeSweetie



Series: Johnlock Comes A-Wassailing [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, Humor, Johnlock Roulette, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8620759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrisCalledMeSweetie/pseuds/ChrisCalledMeSweetie
Summary: How much ugly Christmas apparel can John convince Sherlock to don?  With the right incentive, quite a bit…





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crazycatt71](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazycatt71/gifts).



> Now illustrated by the supremely talented IamJohnLocked4art and podfic'd by the incomparable Lockedinjohnlock.

On the first day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
A jumper with a light-up Christmas tree  
  
On the second day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
Two reindeer antlers  
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree  
  
On the third day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
Three flashing pins  
Two reindeer antlers  
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree  
  
On the fourth day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
Four candy cane scarves  
Three flashing pins  
Two reindeer antlers  
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree  
  
On the fifth day of Christmas   
John Watson gave to me  
Five gaudy rings  
Four candy cane scarves  
Three flashing pins  
Two reindeer antlers  
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree  
  
On the sixth day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
Six bells a-jingling  
Five gaudy rings  
Four candy cane scarves  
Three flashing pins  
Two reindeer antlers  
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree  
  
On the seventh day of Christmas  
John Watson gave to me  
A blow job to make up for the ridiculous crap I’ve been wearing all week  
  
It was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> I blame crazycatt71. She is a bad influence! I swore I wouldn’t work on this until after Thanksgiving, but I have no self-control. 
> 
> If you’d like to read a smuttier and less holiday-themed version of this, check out “The Twelve Nights of Playing” at http://archiveofourown.org/works/8284036
> 
> And if you’d like to see what Sherlock was wearing, you can find it all here:
> 
> A jumper with a light-up Christmas tree:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zdw-qaD15QUAA
> 
> Two reindeer antlers (with sequins!):  
> http://www.partycity.com/product/sequin+reindeer+antlers+headband.do?kwid=sequin%20reindeer%20antlers%20headband&qcid=&ref=ci&extcmp=pla%7CGoogle&gclid=Cj0KEQiA08rBBRDUn4qproqwzYMBEiQAqpzns4YVLxpq4EHFJ93tM9LfY6XiEIIkwCDbcoSTurYH4KsaAloj8P8HAQ
> 
> Three flashing pins:  
> http://www.flashingblinkylights.com/christmas-flashing-pins-assorted-pack.html
> 
> Four candy cane scarves:  
> https://www.amazon.com/Candy-Cane-Scarf-Red-White-Festified/dp/B00L4H90FY/ref=pd_d0_recs_v2_cwb_193_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=0B5EWJXX8M7BM40P86J5
> 
> Five gaudy rings:  
> http://www.cafepress.com/+tacky-christmas+rings
> 
> Six bells a-jingling (on a bracelet):  
> https://www.etsy.com/listing/469127462/jingle-bell-bracelet-jingling-sleigh?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_e-jewelry-bracelets-beaded_bracelets&utm_custom1=abbb7f5f-b6b2-4579-81a3-989dfd35200d&gclid=Cj0KEQiA08rBBRDUn4qproqwzYMBEiQAqpzns2K_FGUbzXO3Q4WUbwI8lrcf6rH-9zM3F3Ng0iqby7YaApFe8P8HAQ
> 
> When I first posted this, I wrote: "I couldn’t find a pic of the blow job, but if there are any artists out there who would be willing to draw it — with Sherlock clothed from the waist up in his ugly Christmas attire — I’d be forever in your debt." Well, guess what? I'm forever in IamJohnLocked4art's debt! She created the most incredible image of the final verse of this song. Go check it out - the link is below. :D 
> 
> And now there's a podfic by Lockedinjohnlock, too. It's a million times better than reading this yourself (although I made sure not to tell you that until the end, when you'd already read it). Click the link below - you'll love it! :D
> 
> Comments and kudos are the best Christmas gifts! Unless you want to create fan art or a podfic of my work - that's an even better Christmas gift! :D

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Cover Art] for Seven Days of Ugly Christmas Apparel](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8800312) by [IamJohnLocked4art (IamJohnLocked4life)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IamJohnLocked4life/pseuds/IamJohnLocked4art)
  * [[PODFIC] Seven Days of Ugly Christmas Apparel](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8804422) by [Lockedinjohnlock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lockedinjohnlock/pseuds/Lockedinjohnlock)




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